


AHHHHHH

by Not_Your_Deers



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo, The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, debate
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-09-30 10:04:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20445335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_Your_Deers/pseuds/Not_Your_Deers
Summary: Aleksander decides to create a group chat for the Debate Team. Kaz is tired, David is confused, and Nina is very bisexual. In conclusion, Aleksander regrets everything.





	1. ~pewpew~

Aleksander created chat “**Debate Team**”

Aleksander added Alina, Nikolai, Nina, Tolya, Tamar, Zoya, Nadia, Kaz, Inej, David, Jesper, Genya, Malyen, Hanne, Leoni, Wylan, Matthias

Aleksander - I thought it would be a good idea to create a Debate Team group chat, so some of you won’t forget about competitions like you always do. 

Tamar - *looks pointedly at david*

Jesper - these names need to change like rn

Malyen - on it bro

Malyen changed **Debate Team ** to **AHHHHHH**

Malyen changed Aleksander’s name to The_Darkling

Malyen changed Alina’s name to sunshine

Malyen - for a debater i have very few good ideas

Malyen - help

Jesper changed Malyen’s name to ~pewpew~

Jesper changed Leoni’s name to Lion_Girl

Jesper changed Kaz’s name to DetectiveDouche

  
Lion_Girl - I approve

Lion_Girl - Good job

~pewpew~ - ^

sunshine - really mal

sunshine changed David’s name to Genya’s-Boyfriend

Genya’s-Boyfriend - this is technically correct but isn’t it a bit long??

Genya - hush

Genya's-Boyfriend changed Genya’s name to Kenya

Kenya - how dare you 

sunshine - ???

Kenya - long story

sunshine - kk

DetectiveDouche - Really, Jesper?

Inej - lol

DetectiveDouche changed Inej’s name to NotASpider

DetectiveDouche - Revenge is sweet

NotASpider - I like it

Jesper - HA!

Wylan - ^

Jesper - who are you? 

Wylan - i’m a freshman kaz kinda adopted me

Nina - Kaz has a heart?

DetectiveDouche - No. He was so awkward it was painful. I had to fix it. 

Jesper - is no one gonna change my name :(

Wylan changed Jesper’s name to J’espère

J’espère - idk what it means, but i like it

Wylan - now i’m stuck with a boring name… why??? 

J’espère changed Wylan’s name to WHYlan

WHYlan - now i feel complete 

Hanne - wth

Nina - hey hanne

Hanne - hey!

Nina changed Hanne’s name to Ha-Ha-Hanne

Ha-Ha-Hanne - so childish, Nina

Ha-Ha-Hanne changed Nina’s name to dRuGs

dRuGs - nO

Ha-Ha-Hanne - all’s fair ;)

dRuGs - you promised me

dRuGs - hmmm who can i take my anger out on….

dRuGs changed Matthias’ name to Benedik

dRuGs - :D

Nikolai - This is chaos and Alek is going to be sooo mad at us

dRuGs - US??

Nikolai changed Tamar’s name to Pirate#1

Nikolai changed Tolya’s name to Pirate#2

Pirate#2 - Why does she get to be #1?

Pirate#1 - I’m superior

Nikolai - She scares me more

Pirate#1 - That too

Pirate#1 - Now to change @Nadia’s name…

Nadia - oh no

Pirate#1 changed Nadia’s name to NaZha

NaZha - it coulda been worse

Kenya - oh definitely

Kenya - look at mine

NaZha - its not that bad

Genya’s-Boyfriend - it kinda is. long story. 

Genya’s-Boyfriend - @Nikolai?

Nikolai - I’ve got a bad feeling about this

Genya’s-Boyfriend changed Nikolai’s name to Tsarevich

Tsarevich - What

Genya’s-Boyfriend - it means prince in…. Russian? i think?

Benedik - I speak Russian, and that is certainly not Russian.

Benedik - Nina?

dRuGs - yes?

Benedik - Why?

dRuGs - why not?

The_Darkling - Really? You had to change every single name while I was gone? And during class at that?

Zoya - Not every name

The_Darkling - Interesting.

The_Darkling changed Zoya’s name to *eyeroll*


	2. dRuGs

Pirate#1 - First tournament of the year for all debaters!

Pirate#1 - Please tell me all the CXers are ready….

NaZha - you know i am :)

Pirate#1 - Of course Nadia you’re my partner :/

Pirate#1 - @Genya’s-Boyfriend, @*eyeroll*

Genya’s-Boyfriend - yes we’re ready

*eyeroll* - He finished at like 11pm last night 

Genya’s-Boyfriend - BETRAYED

*eyeroll* - That’s what I do, David

The_Darkling - PF team, are you ready? And by PF team I mean @dRuGs.

dRuGs - yes sir

The_Darkling - Really?

Tsarevich - As her partner I can confirm, Alek

The_Darkling - Thank you, Nina. You too Nikolai. 

Tsarevich - No problem

dRuGs - XD

Pirate#2 - Do I even need to ask my team?

Pirate#2 - I mean… you’re all so organised and controlled I expect you were done a week ago.

Pirate#2 - I know I was. 

DetectiveDouche - Yes Tolya I think we’re all done

DetectiveDouche - Also can I add I fucking love LD

NotASpider - same to both

WHYlan - ditto i guess? i’m pretty sure i did it? lemme check

J’espère - 1) mood 2) i’m glad us speech kids don’t have to do this

WHYlan - yep i did it

NotASpider - great job

DetectiveDouche - :|

**PF Team Chat**

The_Darkling - I didn’t want to say it on the other chat, but I expect you guys to freaking ace this competition, got it? You’re going up against a bunch of novices, people. 

sunshine - got it! and i’m sure we’ll do great, don’t worry.

The_Darkling - I’m not worried. 

The_Darkling - I do need everyone else to respond, though.

dRuGs - we’re ready i promise

Tsarevich - ^

sunshine - we’re going to destroy those idiots from druskelle high :D


	3. DetectiveDouche

dRuGs - congrats to everyone who got a ribbon or medal today!

The_Darkling - @me & @sunshine

sunshine - yay!

~pewpew~ - well done to you both 

The_Darkling - Thank you.

sunshine - ^

Pirate#1 - @Genya’s-Boyfriend & @*eyeroll*

Kenya - wow congrats david! 

Genya’s-Boyfriend - thanks genya. <3

Kenya - <3

*eyeroll* - Ewwwwww

The_Darkling - I agree with Zoya on this one. 

Pirate#2 - @NotASpider 

NotASpider - hell yeah! i’m awesome!

J’espère - what about kaz?

DetectiveDouche - …

NotASpider - let’s not

J’espère - that bad?

Pirate#2 - Yes. That bad. 

WHYlan - i didn’t think kaz could make mistakes

J’espère - honestly? Same

Benedik - Agreed. 

Ha-Ha-Hanne - where have you been?   
Benedik - I’m not in debate anymore, I don’t have any real reason to be on here often. 

J’espère - @DetectiveDouche message me

Kenya - Ooohh

**Private Message DetectiveDouche ---> J’espère **

DetectiveDouche - what’s up, jes?

J’espère - what happened at the tournament today? it didn’t sound good.

DetectiveDouche - I uhhhh….

J’espère - it was her? she’s the only think that makes you that speechless

DetectiveDouche - yes it was her jes what else

J’espère - what did you do?

DetectiveDouche - nothing

J’espère - don’t lie to me dude

DetectiveDouche - no i literally did nothing. i froze completely. 

J’espère - seriously? 

DetectiveDouche - i stuttered out like a solid two sentences in the first speech. the rest wasn’t much better. 

J’espère - *grimaces*

J’espère - ever going to do anything about that… thing?

DetectiveDouche - you’ve met me, what do you think?

J’espère - nope?

DetectiveDouche - no

DetectiveDouche - jordie’s calling, sorry

**Private Message ** **J’espère ---> JoJoRie**

J’espère - hey jordie?

JoJoRie - hello jesper how’s it going?

J’espère - alright

JoJoRie - what did he do this time?

J’espère - he said you called for him

JoJoRie - i’m out with my gf dude

JoJoRie - he’s avoiding you

JoJoRie - :/


	4. WHYlan

WHYlan - it’s probably just because i’m new, but can someone explain all these nicknames to me???

Lion_Girl - ^

*eyeroll* - Freshmen…

~pewpew~ - alina is the opposite of optimistic and cheerful

~pewpew~ - its ironic

WHYlan - i figured. she’s pretty sarcastic.

sunshine - ^

*eyeroll* - Everyone’s been calling Aleksander “The Darkling” since his emo phase Freshman year

Tsarevich - You make it sound like his emo phase ever actually ended

The_Darkling - Very mature, Nikolai.

*eyeroll* - You wore black eyeliner to school three times last week

The_Darkling - Fair enough. 

Lion_Girl - And David is because he’s genya’s boyfriend I guess?

Kenya - zoya refused to learn his name and just called him my boyfriend for like six months

Lion_Girl - And now they’re partners?

Kenya - they were partners during that time

Lion_Girl - How????

Genya’s-Boyfriend - not sure honestly. 

Genya’s-Boyfriend - i should explain genya’s.

Tsarevich - Yeah, we’re all a little lost there

Kenya - he thought my name was kenya for like the first month of our friendship

Genya’s-Boyfriend - in my defense, genya’s not a super common name

Kenya - i know and i love you <3

Genya’s-Boyfriend - <3

The_Darkling - PDA is banned. 

WHYlan - tolya and tamar??

Pirate#1 - Our mother’s a sailor. We grew up on a boat. 

Pirate#1 - And I’m #1 because I’m superior. 

WHYlan - @Pirate#2 do you agree??

Pirate#2 - Definitely. 

Benedik - My middle name is Benedik. 

Lion_Girl - That’s boring….

dRuGs - i can fix it

Benedik - Nina NO

dRuGs changed Benedik’s name to AngryButterfly

dRuGs - one time i fought him and pinned him against a wall and he looked like a big blond angry butterfly

Lion_Girl - Fair enough

WHYlan - what about you, nina??

NotASpider - i started a rumor freshman year that nina did drugs

dRuGs - i don’t

DetectiveDouche - …

dRuGs - where has he been?????

NotASpider - idk

dRuGs - inej does acrobatics and got made when kaz compared her to a spider

NotASpider - spiders are gross

NotASpider - i’m a ghost

WHYlan - y’all are crazy

sunshine - mal hasn’t explained his yet

~pewpew~ - @J’espère

J’espère - he’s a great shot in shooter games

Lion_Girl - Smh jes

J’espère - how dare you 

WHYlan - i think i already explained but jesper’s means “i hope” in french

J’espère - and wylan’s just sounds funny

dRuGs - same w/ hanne’s

Pirate#1 - and nadia’s

Lion_Girl - What about kaz? Is that the reference I think it is, or…??

J’espère - oh it is

Lion_Girl - My name means lion

Tsarevich - and my username is apparently russian for prince?

AngryButterfly - It’s really not. 

Lion_Girl - I think that’s everyone.

WHYlan - except zoya

sunshine - @The_Darkling

The_Darkling - She rolls her eyes all the time because she hates everyone but herself and Nik. 

*eyeroll* - And you. I don’t hate you 

DetectiveDouche - *pukes*


	5. taste the rainbow

BiTheWay created chat “ **Rainbow Alliance** ”

BiTheWay added TokenStraight, Peter Pan, Alligaytor, Lesbiaunt, Dem It, Pretty_Bi, BiTheBook, AceDetective, Gotta_Gay, Lesbiain’t

BiTheWay - This is Ravka High’s GSA! Don’t worry though, identities here are protected unless you chose to tell people who you are. 

TokenStraight - We should probably do introductions.

BiTheWay - Good idea. 

BiTheWay - I’m Nina Zenik. She/her. Bisexual. (Give as much info as you’re willing to!)

TokenStraight - Matthias Helvar. He/him. I’m, as my name suggests, the Straight One. 

Peter Pan - jesper fahey, he/him, pan (nina stop being formal we all know you’re a mess)

BiTheWay - oh right good point jes

Lesbiaunt - we don’t have to say our names, right?? :/

BiTheWay - nope! as much as you’re comfortable with. we know some people aren’t out yet 

Lesbiaunt - she/her, gay :)

Alligaytor - ^

BiTheBook - He/Him, Bisexual. 

BiTheWay - i like the name

BiTheBook - Thanks. 

AceDetective - I appreciate the Shakespeare reference. 

BiTheBook - Thanks!!

AceDetective - I use He/Him, and I’m Asexual Heteroromantic.

Dem It - he/him, heteroromantic/demisexual, and i don’t really want to be here.

AceDetective - I like you already. 

Dem It - Ditto. 

Gotta_Gay - woah i just arrived and i’m loving the puns 

Peter Pan - honestly thats my favorite part of this chat

Gotta_Gay - :)

Peter Pan - gonna introduce yourself???

Gotta_Gay - he/him. Gay. 

Pretty_Bi - there are only four girls in this chat. 

Lesbiaunt - it kinda sucks :( 

Alligaytor - But at least we can be friends :)

Pretty_Bi - you two are extremely in sync (also she/her, bicurious/questioning)

Lesbiaunt - hi! and yeah we are

Alligaytor - We’re dating.

BiTheWay - oooohhh my gossip senses are tingling

TokenStraight - Nina NO

Peter Pan - matthias’ catchphrase

AceDetective - Your grammar is appalling, and yet you use the correct possessive of his name?

Peter Pan - Just because I don’t use grammar in most of my messages, that doesn’t mean I don’t understand it.

Gotta_Gay - woAH

Lesbain’t - what is this place?

Lesbiaunt - gay. and we match

Lesbain’t - i didn’t sign up for this. 

Lesbain’t - oh wait i did

BiTheWay - introductions???

Lesbain’t - she/her 

Lesbain’t - and... idk

Pretty_Bi - same though

Alligaytor - I just saw Kaz Brekker just… standing dramatically on a rooftop?

Pretty_Bi - he does that some times, i see him up there a lot

BiTheBook - He looks pretty intimidating.

BiTheWay - ^ he makes me feel short even though i’m actually taller than him

Alligaytor - When he’s on the roof, or in general?

BiTheWay - in general

Peter Pan - ^

Gotta_Gay - ^^

BiTheBook - ^^^

TokenStraight - ^^^^

Lesbiaunt - ^^^^^

Lesbain’t - ^^^^^^

AceDetective - ^^^^^^^^

Dem It - am i the only one here who isn’t scared of kaz brekker?

Pretty_Bi - nah. i think he’s pretty harmless

Dem It - agreed

Dem It - @Peter Pan aren’t you his best friend?

Peter Pan - yeah and he terrifies me

BiTheBook - The weirdest thing just happened…

~~~

**AHHHHHH**

Tsarevich - @DetectiveDouche, why the hell was there birdseed in your briefcase?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 100 Points/A Cookie for anyone who can guess every character's identity first try! 
> 
> I also need help from y'all :  
Normally I'm a Nina/Hanne shipper, but that's mainly because of what happened to Matthias, and in this fic it didn't happen, so...  
Nina/Hanne, Nina/Matthias or Hanne/Nina/Matthias?


	6. j'espère

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have returned

_ previously... _

Tsarevich - @DetectiveDouche, why the hell was there birdseed in your briefcase?

_currently..._

DetectiveDouche - No comment

NotASpider - KAZ why didn’t u dispose of the evidence

Tsarevich - I’m guessing I shouldn’t have asked

WHYlan - probs not

The_Darkling - Like this kid could actually do anything criminal.

*eyeroll* - Oh shut up we all know you’re a nerd

J’espère - back to the topic i know the truth

DetectiveDouche - jes i will silence you

NotASpider - ^

J’espère - they legit just feed crows on the roof

dRuGs - ofc ;/

Lion_Girl - anyone wanna go to a movie w/ me

J’espère - hell yeah what r we watchin

Lion_Girl - something marvel probs

WHYlan - ooh can i come

Lion_Girl - anyone else

~pewpew~ - yeah

Kenya - sure

Pirate #1 - Yea

AngryButterfly - How was the film?

~pewpew~ - great! we watched spiderman

J’espère - it was awesome

Pirate #1 - I’ve watched it like ten times. Still a good movie

The_Darkling - Has anyone done any work?

Genya’s-Boyfriend - of course

Kenya - he’s lying

Genya’s-Boyfriend - why do u all betray me like this

*eyeroll* - Because it’s funny.

Tsarevich - Alek chill we’ve got two weeks until the next tournament

The_Darkling - Fine

WHYlan - why is nikolai the only one who calls him that

Tsarevich - Because I’m his best friend

The_Darkling - Debatable

Tsarevich - Try me 

Pirate #1 - You could cut that sexual tension with a knife

NaZha - tf tamar

Pirate #1 - I stand by it.

J’espère - hands up if you think speech kids are the best

Ha-Ha-Hane - !

Kenya - ^

Lion_Girl - ^^

WHYlan - ^^^

NotASpider - wylan how dare u

WHYlan - i mean, i joined the club to do oratory

J’espère - and you,,, signed up for the wrong thing

WHYlan - yes, jes, i signed up for the wrong thing thats the obvious choice >:/

J’espère - cute emoji

~~~

**Rainbow Alliance**

Peter Pan - in other news tom holland is literally perfect

Gotta_Gay - preach

Alligaytor - ^

Lesbiaunt - babe you’re gay


End file.
